Yea, yea, yea. We all know the stereotype – hang out with slackers and your grades will slip.
Clearly, Zimone, Infinite Analyst is not a slacker. As a young child, she said, “What are they complaining about? It’s not like axiomatic leyline paratrigonemetrics is hard.”
But what if we cosplay as the slacker who brings everyone else down?
Math is hard. School is hard. Magic is hard. Let’s copy Zimone’s work, flip the table, and move on to the next game.
From Here to There
Out of the box, Quandrix Unlimited offers a very cohesive gameplan – big mana, big creatures, big beats, and lots and lots of +1/+1 counter synergies that turn our spells into sudokus. (We cast Silkguard targeting Zimone, Infinite Analyst triggering Nev, Practical Dean and Forgotten Ancient. Hardened Scales replaces our +1/+1 triggers and Unbound Flourishing copies Silkguard, which now targets Nev, Practical Dean who triggers twice, replaced twice…)
Many of our best cards here reward our big X spells and turn our piles of +1/+1 counters into trampling damage that threaten to end the game in a hurry.
But, today, we peek with a Brass Infiniscope in our back pocket. Keep this one in mind, slackers, for the end.
Buffing Zimone
Unfortunately, if we want to slack, we need to put in the work. Zimone’s first ability is limited to once per turn, so we will need to cast X spells on our opponents’ turns to maximize our scaling. Wizards provides us with six instants and an Alchemist’s Refuge to get started. We will add thirteen more instants to improve our density and four budget-friendly flash enablers: Kianne, Corrupted Memory, Final-Word Phantom, Wizards of Thay, and Valley Floodcaller.
Each of our flash enablers has a unique twist, so we will have to keep our notes straight, but if all goes to plan, slackers, Zimone has the capability of gaining eight +1/+1 counters per turn cycle, turning our Divergent Equation into a one-mana quadruple regrowth for spells and our Dopplegang into a three-mana create nine permanents.
Strength of Tajuru looks clunky at first glance, but let’s shortcut it this way: imagine it read, “GG double the number of +1/+1 counters on Zimone.” Or, better yet, if we have Battlefield Thaumaturge in play, we can imagine it read, “GG double the number of +1/+1 counters on all creatures you control.” At instant speed!
Protecting Zimone
To protect Zimone, Wizards gave us a modest start with Guardian Augmenter, Silkguard, Tyvar’s Stand, and, in a pinch, Altered Ego (with a removal spell on the stack, we cast Altered Ego targeting Zimone, legend rule Zimone back to the command zone, and keep the copy with +1/+1 counters.) To bulk up our protection suite, we will add a mix of hexproof, indestructible, phasing, and counterspells in the form of Inspiring Call, Snakeskin Veil, Repulsive Mutation, Ertai’s Meddling, Thassa’s Intervention, March of Swirling Mist, Power Sink, and Condescend.
Of these, Ertai’s Meddling seems particularly nasty beside a big Zimone. Imagine, “U exile target spell with eight suspend counters.”
Big Mana
Wizards provides us with a generous helping of ramp in Kami of Whispered Hopes, Troyan, Gutsy Explorer, Zimone, Quandrix Prodigy, Animist’s Awakening, Open the Way, Nature’s Lore, Three Visits, Eureka Moment, Mana Bloom, Brass Infiniscope, Astral Cornucopia, Elementalist’s Palette, Arcane Signet, Sol Ring, and Temple of the False God
The tricky part here is that the extra land drop enablers don’t feel particularly consistent. If our mana-hungry 40 card decks want 17 land, then our mana-hungry 99 card decks should want 43, and Wizards provided us with 37 in the main deck. With all the ramp spells available to us, we aren’t going to add more lands here, but let’s swap out the play-extra-lands cards in favor of cost reducers and group hug ramp.
Goodbye, Zimone, Quandrix Prodigy. Hello, New Frontiers.
It’s not often that we get to play with New Frontiers, and it is very common for players to want to hyper maximize their mana bases, in many cases squeezing out room for basic lands. New Frontiers will be an interesting experiment in punishing the players with expensive, nonbasic heavy mana bases. To make sure we are on the side of big ramp, we will make additional swaps at the end to bring our deck up to twenty basic lands. This should allow our New Frontiers to reliably access a ceiling of 15+ basics while simultaneously improving our Sodden Verdure, Vineglimmer Snarl, and Hinterland Harbor.
Admittedly, Battlefield Thaumaturge only really works with seven cards: Striding Shotcaller, Elusive Otter, Silkguard, Strength of the Tajuru, March of Swirling Mist, Mass Manipulation, and Dopplegang. However, removing an X from any of those spells pushes their power over the edge. Mass Manipulation for ten mana now steals six creatures instead of three. Dopplegang for fourteen mana now makes six copies of six permanents instead of four of four. And for the rest, we can target everything for no extra cost. This level of going off is worthy of inclusion here, despite feeling like a narrow combo.
Echoing Equation allows us to turn all of our +1/+1 counter-buffed fractals and hydras into Zimones, effectively netting us mana equal to the number of +1/+1 counters across all creatures we control. Power.
But what will we choose to do with such power…
Big Draw
… if we draw enough cards, really anything we want.
For big draw, Wizards gives us Commander’s Insight, Pull from Tomorrow, Stroke of Genius, and Hydroid Krasis. To bulk up our instant density and smooth out our draws, we’ll add Flash of Insight, Occult Epiphany, and Divergent Equation.
While Flash of Insight and Occult Epiphany will not increase the number of cards in our hand, they provide a great deal of selection, which is exactly what we want when casting one big X spell each turn. Divergent Equation provides the best of both worlds, lots of cards with lots of selection.
Interaction
Wizards provides us with a suite of flexible non-X spell interaction that we will ultimately cut from the final list. Let’s make ourselves the problem and leave the answers to the smart players, slackers.
We will retain the X spell interaction in Kinetic Ooze, Steelbane Hydra, and Entrancing Melody. Great and all, but let’s turn up the volume. Why destroy just one artifact or enchantment when we can destroy X artifact and enchantments while making twice X pest tokens with Pest Infestation? Why steal just one creature when we could theoretically try to steal them all with Mass Manipulation?
And, if we are going to cast such great spells, why stop at just casting them once?
Copying
If there is one thing slackers do at school, it’s copy. Let’s lean in and copy any and all spells we can.
Wizards provides us with two outstanding beginnings with Owlin Spiralmancer and Unbound Flourishing. Each of these permanents allows us to either copy or double our X spells without additional cost. The Spiralmancer has the same once per turn limitation as Zimone, so will equally benefit from our plan of flash enablers and instant density.
For this build, we will add the old classic, Mirari, and the newcomers Sunken Palace and Thunderclap Drake. While none of these are nearly as good as the inclusions that Wizards provides, copying our giant X spells for three mana is passable.
And if copying our own spells is not enough, we have Doppelgang to:
a) create many copies of the most threatening creatures on the board
b) create many copies of our Spiralmancer and Unbound Flourishing
c) target lands to ramp us to infinity
d) all of the above
Ultimately, you are the pilot here and will make your own choice. Though personally, I think we should answer “c) target lands…” and pilot our way toward dropping out.
End the Game
Have you ever had a friend with a bad idea that you let them talk you into anyway? Ok slackers, here we go…
Sometimes, Wizards makes mistakes. Alpha made a lot of mistakes. Then, thirteen years later, Time Spiral block doubled down on many old mistakes. Green should not have X spells that damage players, especially not at instant speed. But here we have it, and as slacker pilots, we will use every ounce of big mana and copy effects to ensure Hurricane wipes the table so we can all drop out together.
Hurricane for X equals forty? This is what the build was made for.
And really, this deck is weak to flyers, so we should include it.
Oh, and remember that sneaky Brass Infiniscope?
Well slackers, it just might help us gain 20 right before dealing 40 to everyone.
Cutting Class
Ok, time to cut.
To make room for Hurricane and everything that supports it, we will be removing most of the non-X spells, and many of the X spells that don’t support our wide, defensive +1/+1 counters synergies.
The cuts are:
- Yavimaya Bloomsage
- Decisive Denial
- Deekah, Fractal Theorist
- Eureka Moment
- Forgotten Ancient
- Mana Bloom
- Guardian Augmenter
- Paradox Gardens
- Tanazir Quandrix
- Lifeblood Hydra
- Zimone, All Questioning
- Beast Within
- Quandrix Apprentice
- Fractal Harness
- Zimone, Quandrix Prodigy
- Hangarback Walker
- Oversimplify
- Curse of the Swine
- Perplexing Test
- Animist’s Awakening
- Zimone’s Hypothesis
- Open the Way
- Quandrix Command
- Primal Might
- Quandrix Charm
- Biomass Mutation
- Rapid Hybridization
In addition to these cuts, we have land swaps to make for New Frontiers. Study Hall, Temple of the False God, Quandrix Campus, Terramorphic Expanse, Exotic Orchard, Yavimaya Coast, and Fabled Passage are out. Four forests and three islands are in.
Cleanup Step
To be fair, as much as I want this deck to be full of nonsense and hyper-focused on using Hurricane and Squall Line to make everyone lose, big blue green budget X spells has just too many juicy cards to ignore. No matter how you choose to win, oodles of mana, cards, and giant beaters will undoubtedly help you get there.
As always, Table for Four believes in fun, kitchen table magic - even when that fun means no one wins.
