Beyond the Norm: A Walk Through Standard’s B&R Announcements – Part 2

(Disclaimer: I love Magic, have a lot of respect for Wizards R&D, and understand that building formats is a very tough job. The following contains some… er… playful jabs at Wizards, but is hopefully enjoyed as good-natured.)

Part 1 of this article, published eight months ago after the first string of bannings, can be found here. Let’s be honest; with the way Standard’s been going, is anyone really surprised that there’s a sequel?

April 30 Email

From: Sam Stoddard stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com

To: Magic R&D

Subject: Pop the Champagne!

We’ve finally done it everyone. We killed the Cat! With Felidar Guardian banned, Temur Energy can instead be a reasonable, completely fair midrange deck. Standard is healthy once more!

P.S. Why are we only allowed to bring foods with seven ingredients to the Rosewaters’ barbecue next Saturday?

May 1 Email

From: Mark Rosewater drivetotwerk@wizards.hasbro.com

To: Magic R&D, Sam Stoddard

Subject: RE: Pop the Champagne!

Restrictions breed creativity!

May 19 Email

From: Sam Stoddard stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com

To: Magic R&D

Subject: Pro Tour Amonkhet

Hey guys, hope you all had a nice weekend! The wife and I finally got to check out that new ceramics place downtime; be sure to read all about it in my latest blog entry, “Sam, the Clay Sculptor.”

Anyways, more to the point, did everyone tune into the PT this weekend? Anyone else notice how that Temur Energy deck just kind of replaced Saheeli/Cat with Marvel/Ulamog…? Is this something we should be concerned about?

May 19 Email

From: Timmy (timmyarmageddondragonofworlds@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D, Sam Stoddard

Subject: RE: Pro Tour Amonkhet

guys seriously?

im seven years old and ive been telling you since you designed the stupid card that you should be concerned. maybe you’ll listen now that pro tour amonkhet contained all of like, 3 amonkhet cards. More like pro tour kaladesh block part 2.

have fun banning more cards

ps: who took my snack out of the fridge? my mom put extra sprinkles on that cake, and they were for me. i love sprinkles. im gonna tell my mom on you and she’s not gonna let me work here anymore.

May 19 Email

From: Sam Stoddard (stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D, Timmy

Subject: Marvel

Whoever took Timmy’s snack, please don’t. He’s the only reason we’ve had no bans for years. And Timmy, you’re no longer allowed to go on vacation when we’re developing a new block. Especially an artifact block.

Well, we have two GP’s coming up this weekend. I’m sure that with Marvel on everyone’s radar, it’ll take a hit. Lots of people will probably be playing those fun Zombie and Monument decks!

May 22 Email

From: Sam Stoddard (stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D

Subject: Marvel

Hey guys. Marvel crushed the GP’s over the weekend.

…maybe people will solve it on Magic Online…?

June 7 Email

From: Sam Stoddard (stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D

Subject: RE: Marvel

Gaaahhh! This is so frustrating! Everyone wants us to ban Marvel, but Marvel isn’t even that dominant online! And everyone’s got their matchups confused – people keep playing UR Control because they think it’s Marvel matchup is good, but it’s one only one of the TWO decks WITHOUT a positive or even Marvel matchup!

Pummeler crushes the stupid deck! Why won’t people just play Pummeler?

June 7 Email

From: Mark Rosewater (drivetotwerk@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D, Sam Stoddard

Subject: RE: Marvel

Your audience is good at recognizing problems and bad at solving them!

June 7 Email

From: Timmy (timmyarmaggedondragonofworlds@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D, Sam Stoddard, Mark Rosewater

Subject: RE: Marvel

are all old people as dumb as you guys? you guys stopped Goldfish from using MTGO replay data to analyze matchups years ago. when marvel is all people play against and all people see win, how can you blame them? people need more data!

June 7 Email

From: Mark Rosewater (stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D, Sam Stoddard, Timmy

Subject: RE: Marvel

Make the fun part also the correct strategy to win!

June 7 Email

From: Sam Stoddard (stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D, Mark Rosewater, Timmy

Subject: RE: Marvel

That’s an excellent point, Timmy. We’ll discuss the Magic Online Posted Decklist policy after this ban announcement.

June 13 Banned and Restricted

Standard: Aetherworks Marvel is banned.

Hey, everyone; it’s me, your recurring nightmare Sam Stoddard! Now I know you’d hoped we’d be done with all these bans in Standard, but this one is really actually kind of your fault. Like… all you guys had to do was play Pummeler. But noooooo, instead, you want to cast Torrential Gearhulk because you think it’s good. (spoiler: it’s not)

I know you hate getting Ulamog’ed on Turn 4, but our boy Frank Karsten did some of his magic math and calculated that that only happens in 9.4% of games! That means when you sit down at a table across from your opponent, before accounting for mana screw, color screw, and mana flood [Mark Rosewater note: It’s a feature, not a bug.] for both you and your opponent, you have a 9/10 chance of getting to play a meaningful game of Magic.

You might wonder how we missed that Marvel was such a broken card. To be fair, we didn’t know that we were going to be banning Emrakul, and we thought you’d just be casting Turn 4 Emrakuls. Ulamog, on the other hand, leads to completely different gameplay.

We were reluctant to ban again since, you know, this’ll be the fifth ban in about as many months. We actually considered a wide range of options: banning Woodweaver’s Puzzleknot, the mightiest of all the puzzleknots; mailing each and every player an R&D-signed apology letter with a playset of Pithing Needle and Duress stapled on, then making those cards legal in Standard; banning some of the free energy sources like Rogue Refiner and Attune with Aether, but that would unnecessarily harm completely fair and reasonable midrange decks; we even considered pair banning, where if you and your opponent were both playing Marvel decks at a Competitive or Professional REL event, you were both banned from the tournament.

In the end, we sat down and really dug through Standard, along with upcoming sets. We realized that Marvel really is the final broken card, and is solely responsible for the problems with Standard. And if you’re sad you can’t play Marvel, don’t be too sad! Just swap out the Marvels for some great creatures and you can play a fair midrange deck like the rest of us:

Temur Energy

3 Chandra, Torch of Defiance

3 Bristling Hydra

3 Glorybringer

4 Longtusk Cub

4 Rogue Refiner

4 Servant of the Conduit

2 Tireless Tracker

2 Whirler Virtuoso

4 Attune with Aether

1 Confiscation Coup

4 Harnessed Lightning

2 Magma Spray

3 Negate

4 Aether Hub

4 Botanical Sanctum

4 Forest

1 Island

3 Mountain

3 Sheltered Thicket

2 Spirebluff Canal

2 Tireless Tracker

1 Confiscation Coup

2 Magma Spray

1 Negate

2 Ceremonious Rejection

1 Devour in Flames

1 Dispel

2 Dissenter's Deliverance

2 Skysovereign, Consul Flagship

1 Sweltering Suns

This is just a starting point, and I’m sure this list will grow and change plenty with the release of new blocks.

July 10 Magic Online Decklist Changes

Hey guys, remember how we had to ban Marvel cuz none of you would play Pummeler? And remember how you didn’t play Pummeler cuz you didn’t know it had a good matchup? And you thought UR Control did, but it didn’t? Well, we’ve decided to solve all these problems by providing you with less data! Our strongest developer, Timmy, mentioned that the amount of data we give you might be the source of some problems. So now we’re going to only post half as many 5-0 MTGO lists, and the ones we do post will be different from each other so you won’t really be able to glean metagame dominance. This way, Standard will always look healthy! Everyone wins!

August 15 Email

From: Sam Stoddard (stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D

Subject: STANDARD SO GOOD WE ARE SO GOOD YAY

We did it! We’re finally through all the bans and Standard is looking GREAT! Zombies, UR Control, and Temur Energy form a fun and interactive metagame! There’s something for everyone!

August 22 Email

From: Sam Stoddard (stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D

Subject: STANDARD STILL PRETTY GOOD WE ARE PRETTY GOOD YAY

So UR Control is pretty much out, but plenty of Zombies and Temur! And the mirrors are also really fun and skill-intensive, SO GO US WE CRUSHING IT!!!

August 29 Email

From: Sam Stoddard (stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D

Subject: STANDARD SO TEMUR BUT DON’T FEAR!!!

So people pretty much agree that Temur is just the best deck, but NEVER FEAR! Ixalan is coming out soon, and we’ll see how well the Energy Tribe can handle a REAL tribe! Like dinosuars RAWR!

November 5 Email

From: Sam Stoddard (stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D

Subject: Pro Tour Ixalan

DIVERSITY, BETCHES!!! As long as you’re really only looking at the Top 8, Energy only made up 50%!!! And we got some actual Ixalan cards to show up!!! Vraska and Rampaging Ferocidon both made appearances.

We are so good at our job.

December 1 Email

From: The Pro Collective (theprocollective@infiniteconsortium.com)

To: Magic R&D

Subject: You are so bad at your job.

The subject line pretty much covers our thoughts. The Pro Collective is highly dissatisfied at the state of Standard. Temur Energy is the only correct choice. Ramunap Red is, like, fine, but Temur is better. If you don’t do something about this, we will require all of your first-born children as sacrifices.

December 1 Email

From: Sam Stoddard (stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D

Subject: FWD: You are so bad at your job.

GAHHH! This is so frustrating! ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS PLAY PUMMELER!!! We’ve been putting Pummeler in EVERY 5-0 listing, and they just ignore it! Welp, what shall we ban this time?

PS: Our new Magic Online deck-posting policy putting in work; can you imagine if they knew the degree to which Temur and Red were actually just favored against everything?! Well, except Pummeler.

December 1 Email

From: Timmy (stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D, Sam Stoddard

Subject: RE: FWD: You are so bad at your job.

just rotate the f***ing block. i go on vacation for three months, and you guys develop the most broken block since mirrodin.

January 10 Email

From: Sam Stoddard (stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D

Subject: Bannings

Alright, guys, it’s crunch time. We need real input on what to ban to fix this god-awful format and force people to actually play with cards that we printed in the last year. I’ve attached a poll; please complete it by the end of the day. Feel free to write-in if you want to add something you don’t see. And please don’t troll this like the last one; our holiday party had only three edible items after the signup descended into a cesspool of memes.

R&D Poll Results

What card(s) should be banned to make Standard happy, healthy, and wealthy?

Basic Island – 73%

Storm Crow – 73%

Attune with Aether – 68%

Rogue Refiner – 59%

Aether Hub – 55%

Whirler Virtuoso – 47%

Your mom – 32%

FREE JACE – 24%

FREE BLOODBRAID – 24%

FREE TWIN – 24%

Ipnu Rivulet – 15%

Shefet Dunes – 15%

Ramunap Ruins – 15%

Hashep Oasis – 15%

Ifnir Deadlands – 15%

Charging Badger – 9%

Torrential Gearhulk – 9%

The Scarab God – 4%

Mark Rosewater – 4%

Ripjaw Raptor – 2%

Regisaur Alpha – 2%

Rampaging Ferocidon – 2%

January 11 Email

From: Sam Stoddard (stodthegod@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D

Subject: RE: Bannings

Dammit, R&D. Dammit.

I see that Creative is still bent out of shape about the Amonkhet deserts and us not giving them the names they wanted.

And we get it, Timmy. You don’t like dinosaurs. What kind of seven-year-old doesn’t like dinosaurs?

Well, I’ll have you know that I will be banning cards off this list, so let’s roll the dice and see how screwed up we can make Standard!

Janary 11 Email

From: Timmy (timmyarmageddondragonofworlds@wizards.hasbro.com)

To: Magic R&D, Sam Stoddard

Subject: RE: Bannings

if you dont ban a dino im out. good luck developing blocks without me

January 15 Banned and Restricted Announcement

Attune with Aether is banned.

Rogue Refiner is banned.

Rampaging Ferocidon is banned.

Ramunap Ruins is banned.

Like a boomerang that keeps on coming back and whacking you in the head because you WON’T F***ING PLAY PUMMELER, it’s me, Sam Stoddard!

We put Pummeler in the format for a reason. The reason was to make sure that other decks don’t get out of control. Pummeler is the safety valve. I thought we made that clear in the last B&R.

Look, we’re banning a couple Energy cards. Had to hit either Attune or Hub and Refiner or Whirler. We did an office poll, Attune and Refiner came out on top, so sorry, all you Pummeler players. I know this is a hit to your deck. It’s just that it doesn’t really matter cuz we can’t get anyone to actually play you.

As for Ruins and Ferocidon, these are less intuitive choices. With Energy gone, Red would dominate. You can tell because of these nice charts we print with bannings that tell you the matchups between all the decks. Looks like Temur was favored against everything and Red was even more heavily favored against everything except for Temur. And – what’s that? Another deck that beat them both? Pummeler, you say? If only people would have played Pummeler… Isn’t concealing metagame information from all of you and then blaming you for not acting on it fun?!

So we had to ban some stuff from Red. Hazoret is a mythic, so she’s out. Ruins hurts Torrential Gearhulk decks, which you all seem to love, so here’s a gift for you. As for Ferocidon… well, Timmy doesn’t like dinosaurs, and after we’ve refused to listen to him when he told us that Marvel was too good/Copter was too good/Emrakul was too good/beware of Standard Cat-Twin/we needed to print Energy hate, we owe him one. So Rampaging Ferocidon is banned. It might not make any sense, but if you stop and really think about it… think about it hard… well, I’m sure you all will come up with something.

And that’s it! Standard is saved!  Enjoy playing Tribal decks for a week before people find out that Grixis Energy is still just kinda busted!

Ryan is a grinder from Boston with SCG & GP Top 8’s and a PT Day 2. His fragile self-esteem is built on approval from others, so be sure to tell him what you think of his articles on Twitter @RyanNormandin and in his Twitch chat at twitch.tv/norm_the_ryno.