The question of adaptation to the environment is a fundamental one. It is important that everyone be as well adapted to the environment as possible. The behavior of people who are not adapted to the environment will be flawed. If they are not adapted to society, they will disturb the environment.
- Maria Montessori, The 1946 London Lectures
Greed - Phil Foglio
Last week, we explored Shivam Bhatt’s stories of being new and how communities can encourage or discourage participation.
We explored the value of pregame and postgame conversations through Jonathan Wolff’s lens of Montessori grace and courtesy.
And, we explored how external controls—such as the banned list and commander bracket system—can help players quickly find common footing among new playgroups, reducing the need for difficult initial conversations.
Last week, true to Montessori pedagogy, we focused on the good.
This week, let’s shift focus and explore the bad.
And, when bad, let’s explore becoming new.
Psst…
Deceit - Svetlin Velinov
About a decade ago, at an upstate New York local game store, a new player arrived at Friday Night Magic, signed up for draft, and asked, “What’s draft?”
A few regulars explained. Sit. Open a pack. Pick one card. Pass the rest in a circle.
Simple enough.
The new player had a handle on the idea and was set up for an enjoyable night, likely filled with a lot of learning and a lot of losing.
A lot, a lot.
Before opening the first pack, the local sitting to the left of our new player leaned in and whispered, “Psst… you only get to play the cards you draft. If you want to cast your spells, be sure to pick all the basic lands.”
With the hidden information of the draft and the discreet misinformation, no one could step in.
Until it was too late.
At the end of the draft, it was clear the new player had been duped into picking a non-functional pile of cards.
The offender received a lifetime ban from the store, effectively immediately. But the damage had been done.
Sure, Magic is a fun game, but not so fun that anyone, especially a new player, should endure a loss of trust in community.
What Do We Do?
Our deceptive local was absolutely a product of a “me first” mentality.
After all, when we sit down to play Magic, we are playing a “me first” game. Whether one on one or at a table for four, we play, first and foremost, to win.
When our motivation to win at all costs bleeds into social conduct and results in treating our social lives as a zero-sum, winner-take-all game with loopholes to exploit, our community is damaged.
Montessori teaching coach, Jonathan Wolff has hard, but necessary, advice. “This is not something you would necessarily ask people to share—this is not group therapy—but it’s part of the spiritual preparation that Montessori talked about.”
“For those of us who have a temptation to cheat or bend the rules to try to get away with something that you know is not correct, we invite you to ask yourself, because we’ve all had tendencies of temptation—'Oh, nobody’s gonna discover this, I’m gonna get a little extra for myself’—do you know why you do that?”
“Is it out of a need to make more money at all costs? Is it out of a sense of anxiety? What drives your need to cheat?”
Burning Inquiry - Zoltan Boros & Gabor Szikszai
An open question. No need for response. Just internal burning inquiry.
“Once people learn to own their own stuff, then oftentimes they’re willing to advocate and go, ‘Wait a minute. Why did you do that? That’s not right. That doesn’t create a fun gaming community.’ You know, but usually it starts with the inner work to be honest with yourself. Then you can be a little more assertive with other people. ‘Hey, I’m working on this. How about you, too?’”
Self-reflection is hard. Feeling called out is hard.
Hard, but necessary.
Mending and Restoration
In Montessori, ownership over actions—what we call “being a brave truth teller”—begins the mending. But the work isn’t done until community is restored.
Voice of Truth - rk post
We could argue that our community is better without our deceptive local.
But our community could be better yet if our local took ownership for their deception, made amends, and used their expertise to guide instead of misinform.
Jonathan asks, “Would you consider breaking that mindset and going another route for the fun of the game and the harmony of the group and your inclusion in the group? Would you consider changing that habit once you discover why you do it?”
Imagine if our local, instead of their whispered deception, said aloud, “We all want to have fun here. Does anyone mind if I offer face up help to our new drafter?”
Taking Ownership
Magic is a game, and games are supposed to be fun.
This phrase is so intuitive and has been said so many times that its origin is too evasive to track down. Searching for small variations on the phrase will bring us to most—if not all—major sources of Magic discussion.
All to say, the community truly believes that Magic is supposed to be fun.
But, Shivam Bhatt considers a counterpoint. The reason our phrase always includes “supposed to be.”
Shivam describes, “There is a big thing about Magic players that we have this problem—we love the bad beats story. We love the ‘Oh man, I totally would have had them if they hadn’t drawn so good. My deck could just give me one more land. I had the win on the top deck.’”
In true “me first” fashion, “We sit, and we grind, and we chew on these experiences, and it’s part of our shared Magic heritage of just being bitter about losing.”
“But, there’s that in game. When you take it out of the game and deal it to life that’s when you’re like, ‘Is this a good use of my time? Is this going to advance my life in a way? Or is this just going to add more negativity and make my life harder?’”
Following Jonathan Wolff’s advice, let’s not air our answers just yet. Instead, let’s spend an extended time considering what are we use these feelings for.
What is our goal? How much negativity are we willing to bring to community? And, will we get anything we need for it?
Asked another way - will we shrug off the bad beats or will we spend fifteen minutes grinding a goldfish into dust?
Shivam answers, “Airing this to the universe is maybe not gonna be as productive as I hoped. It might be cathartic. But is it going to be productive? No, probably not.”
“We need to learn the difference between catharsis and usefulness. It feels good in the moment, but it’s like lighting yourself on fire in the winter. Yea great, you’re warm now. You’re also going to be dead in a few minutes.”
Stepping Back
Transcendence - Rebecca Guay
As long as we are in a cadence of asking questions, a cadence of considering becoming new, let’s take one step back.
How much—or in what ways—do we value our physical collections of cards and memorabilia?
How much—or in what ways—do we value the community that supports our collection?
And, what is an appropriate response when the monetary value of our collection fluctuates?
For those at the forefront of the community, the worst voices can be the loudest in the room.
Shivam describes, “I was sitting on the beach in Spain when they banned Jeweled Lotus, I’m looking through my phone and they’re like, ‘I know where your kid goes to school’ or ‘I’m gonna light your house on fire.’”
When it comes to reflective practice, calling out the good, and encouraging cooperative behavior, this is the reason we do it.
Much like the ego in a “me first” mindset, behaviors slide and escalate when left unchecked. Recognizing and encouraging respect by consistently drawing attention to the good is a strong first step to checking unacceptable behavior.
Shivam reflects, “Teaching people ethics is hard. Getting people to respect ethics is hard because we are in a society where our ethical notions are all self-based in terms of advancing the self, in terms of putting yourself forward, getting ahead however you can, and that runs contrary to the collectivist idea that if we make everybody else better by selflessly acting, then we are making ourselves better as well.”
“I don’t know how you impose that on a society, but I believe you’re responsible for each other and that we should be responsible for each other.”
Let’s not worry about doing the hard work today.
Instead, let’s call out a little respect.
Let’s let respect be seen.
Cleanup Step
As convenient as it is to compartmentalize our hobbies from our cares and responsibilities, we only live one, always interconnected life.
Remember that bit from Montessori at the lead of this article? About adaptation to the environment? We bring our full interconnected selves with us to every environment. The better we adapt our mindset to the good of the group, to the mutual enjoyment of the game and community, the richer our life and play experiences will be.
Jonathan Wolff asks, “Do you think Montessori is a curriculum or is it a lifestyle? It’s not only a curriculum with materials it’s actually how we view human development and the environment that supports human development, whether it’s kids or adults.”
And Shivam offers a word of warning, “Sacrificing yourself for all of this is not worth it – if you don’t live an ethical life, you’re gonna reap the pain for it.”
Magic is a game.
Games are supposed to be fun.
As always, Table for Four believes in fun, kitchen table Magic filled with respectful beats.
